"Capitalism Is Cannabalism"-Vex

Political Filipino grindcore. That's right kiddos, and it comes with a heavy dosage of the kickass. Vex makes up for their lack of a good studio, good instruments, and good intentions with a brutal spine-snapping grind that will split your ears and make you play the 24 minute album over and over. Like a lot of grindcore albums, a significant portion of that 24 minutes is devoted to random sound bytes (mostly in Tagalog but there's one clip of some government official speaking in English about the benefits of a partnership between government and free-enterprise). Also the last 7 seven songs are all different versions of the same song, "Cum and Taste Our Revenge," but this proves to be very entertaining rather than redundant. There's even a cover of a Standfast (infamous Swedish punk duo) song, "Self-Righteous Bastard", and a jab at fellow grindcore band Agoraphobic Nosebleed "Agorephobic Saliva Spitting Basstard." Vex is what grindcore is all about, which is having fun, mocking authority, and being incredibly abrasive. Saucy's picks: "Ultra Poverty=Ultra Tragedy", "Capitalism Is Cannabalism", "Basura", "You're So Cool", and of course "Cum and Taste Our Revenge."

"Triumvirate"-Black Anvil

I'm really not sure what to write for this. I personally can't get bored of metal; if I have heavy riffs, heavy vocals, heavy beats, it lifts my heavy heart. And Black Anvil has something a lot of metal bands don't: decent vocals. But besides that they sound like most other modern metal bands, which isn't bad, just not particularly interesting. If you like stoner metal, blackened crust, or early black metal (in the vein of Venom and such)then you'll probably be pleased. The first track, "What Is Life If Life Not Now!" is the best track of the album, which unfortunately makes the rest of the album sound kind of mediocre. Maybe I shouldn't be sober when listening to this.

Cryonic-"Kings of Avalon"

Hair metal is the greatest genre of music ever created. Forever being a haven to the trashiest people to arise from a lack of good public education, hair metal defies the norm by being so misogynistic while at the same time trying to look like women (often times failing utterly). Cryonic is a great example of one of these groups that is so serious in its delivery that its hard to take seriously, thus making it a whole hell of fun. "Avalon," the first track, has the whining of a teenage rebel in the guise of obsession with Arthurian mythology. "Kings Of The Hill" is a party boy anthem, and "No More" is the ballad needed on every album. "Free Like An Eagle" is the only song silly enough to round up this album. 10/10, buy 20 copies to distribute at an orphanage, and listen to it when you sleep (pregnant women should probably have it on a walkman with the headphones on their womb. Yes a walkman because its retro and cool and not for nerds).